smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
