how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
