i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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