I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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