i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
