Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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