she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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