its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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