fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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