i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
