i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
