lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
FUCK WHALES
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
