We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We have started to decorate penises.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
