So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
