ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
