Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
