Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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