Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
