As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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