He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You were trust falling into bushes
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
