Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
