I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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