So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
