Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
