real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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