puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
