She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
