Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
