My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
