Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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