We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
