is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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