Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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