Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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