Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
