What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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