just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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