He is an equal opportunity slut.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
