Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
