is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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