Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
