booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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