So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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