Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
