I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
