i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize