i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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