Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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