the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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