Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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